New Frontier(s)

SO...fatherhood.   For the last 9+ months (I wish i could make an upper-case + because those last 2 weeks were brutal, and Tash had it much worse than I...when I say brutal I am mostly speaking with great empathy, not self-pity) it seemed as though we were planning for a large storm.  As the "date" (obviously, not an exact science) approached we began stocking up on goodies, new furniture, clothes, food supply storage, lots of cloths able to soak up all forms of moisture, blankets to keep warm, and arranging our home to become as self-sustainable as possible for at least 2 weeks.  It was a "storm" much anticipated and welcomed.  It was if this was the storm the gods had created to help the Dougherty and Panza clan reach a new plateau.  From what I hear from the midwife, with the news of mom and baby being healthy came a family celebration that I am sure looked like a celebratory ritual dance.  However, this may be more simply compared to the dance performed by Red Sox fans around the country in October of 2004, when Dave Roberts stole second base.  It was the beginning of the greatest moment in Red Sox history, and so Levi's birth begins the greatest moment in Dougherty-Panza history.  

 

Levi is the coolest kid on earth.  Sorry folks, he just is.  I am biased, but I feel being only 8 days removed from his birth, I am given the right to make such arrogant claims.  When this right wears off, I am not sure.  If not before, it will certainly have to diminish to make way for our next child (which, given a 64 hour labor, will be a ways down the road).  Yes, I said it; 64 hours!  More than saying it, Tasha endured it...like a champion.  She will never admit it or claim such things, but she was fantastic through everything and although claims were made that "I cannot do this any longer," she continued with a unparalleled will and steadfastness, dealing with a huge jerk of a doctor at the end, knowing that we would finally meet our son.  At 8:33 pm on June 25th, we did just that. (It must also be noted that the midwife, midwife asst., and nurse were all phenomenal throughout the entire process....the natural birth plan had to be modified due to a few developments and the doctor had to be called in at the end for assistance.)

 

People always say you cannot put the experience of birth into words.  This is one point I would have to agree with the majority of the people on.  Leading up to the birth and during labor, you have no idea what to expect or how things will happen.  You are stricken with the unfortunate task of waiting.  Down the stretch everything is put on hold so you can focus on the new life about to enter the world.  The funny part is you then devise ways to keep you busy so you don't focus on the baby.  These tasks do nothing to relieve your mind, they are simply ways to make time pass a little bit quicker.  As we all know, this is an impossible task, but it tricks the mind into thinking you sped things up.  Then, in the matter of a split-second, he is HERE.  No longer is there anticipation and guessing of what he will look like, whose hair he will have (surely it will be curly!), whose toes will he have, or will he cry when he is born...all of this is answered in a matter of seconds.  This is when it happens.  All of the pain, all of the waiting, all of the organizing, all of the guessing is pushed aside as an instant bond is formed.  It is as if you are transported back into the woods, living amongst wolves, bears, and deer.  In that moment, the mammal inside conquers your soul and declares to the rest of your body and mind that this baby will be protected and nourished by all means necessary.  If one couldn't find a cause to live or die for before, one is instantly presented.  If this is not enough, then I am perplexed. The study of psychology has been developed to tackle such issues.  

 

So, where are we now?  Well I think I just changed my 50th diaper or so and our lives have simply become a routine of feedings (Tasha has this one covered for now with breast feeding), changing diapers, figuring out that Tasha shouldn't eat brownies before bed or drink too much seltzer, otherwise we all suffer, and figuring out ways to take enough cat naps throughout the day so we end up getting at least 5-6 hours of sleep a day.  I am working summer school (half days until July 25th) and Tasha is home until late September so we will have plenty of time to bond.  We still curse the lack of socialized health care and the lack of paid time off for mothers and fathers in this country, but we don't get too hung up on it.  I just will never understand or believe the claim of politicians who say they care about the American family when they provide nothing in the form of compensation.  The other 3 nations in the world (yes, there are only 3 others) who do not provide paid maternity leave have an average per capita income around $1,300.  But, we now have Levi and that is where our focus turns for the rest of our lives (that is still a foreign concept on many occasions.)  We will do our best to share our love and let him experience as much as possible from his home base wherever we end up.  He certainly will share his love with all our friends and family.  Thank you to all who have given their love and support and I hope you enjoy the "Chronicles of Levi" as interpreted by moi.  

Love and Peace to all.